1. An old saying, newly confirmed
“Barking dogs seldom bite.”
An old saying we hear often and rarely question. At its core, it’s a metaphor for empty threats. More broadly, it can also mean: those who make the most noise about themselves often deliver the least.
Over the past week, I’ve seen this idea confirmed again - this time in a completely different context.
I listed an apartment for rent. As expected in a major city, there was a high volume of inquiries. Similar to executive search, I tried to get a personal impression of as many applicants as possible and scheduled a large number of viewings.
Beforehand, I asked for only minimal information: preferred move-in date, number of occupants, and a few basic details.
And then, two very different behavioral patterns emerged.
2. The loud and the quiet
About half of the applicants responded briefly, precisely, and factually. They answered my questions, we scheduled a viewing - that was it.
The other half took a different approach: emphasizing high salaries, offering above-market rent, proposing to pay a year in advance, and providing extensive self-descriptions. All of this is understandable - in a competitive market, people try to stand out.
But what happened next was striking:
Without exception, those who had “sold” themselves most aggressively in advance either canceled the viewing (often at short notice), didn’t show up at all, or attended but clearly had no serious interest.
By contrast, the quieter, more concise applicants were almost always reliable. And in the end, the tenants I chose came from this group.
3. What’s behind this?
The observation isn’t new - but it is remarkably consistent:
Those who signal a lot often have less substance.
Those who remain calm often have nothing to prove.
Of course, this isn’t a universal rule. But as a pattern, it holds surprisingly well.
One possible explanation: strong self-presentation often stems from uncertainty - an attempt to compensate, to create impact before substance becomes visible.
Clear, precise communication, on the other hand, is often a sign of clarity, self-awareness, and reliability.
4. What this means for leadership and organizations
This pattern is not limited to the housing market.
I see it regularly in my work with candidates and leaders: those who present themselves most forcefully are not necessarily the ones who deliver. And those who are calm, clear, and unassuming are often the ones you can rely on.
The same applies to organizations: cultures that prioritize visibility, self-promotion, and internal “loudness” risk confusing perception with substance.
5. My impulse
When do you base your decisions on visibility and when on substance?
Who in your environment is highly visible and who is truly effective?
And where might you be mistaking strong presentation for real quality?
Because it is rarely the most reliable who stand out the most. But quite often, those who stand out the most are not the most reliable.
