1. I Listen for a Living
If someone asks me what I actually do all day, the honest answer is simple: I ask questions and I listen.
I ask candidates about their career paths, their successes, their setbacks, and their goals. I ask companies who exactly they are looking for, which challenges need to be addressed, and what kind of personality fits their culture.
At first glance, much of this sounds fairly ordinary. In reality, however, a surprisingly large part of my work consists of listening. If I think about my conversations, I probably speak no more than 25 percent of the time. The remaining 75 percent, I listen.
The same is true in my private life. I am genuinely interested in people. How are things going professionally? What is currently on your mind? What is going well? What are you thinking about? What plans do you have?
For me, asking questions and showing interest comes naturally. Perhaps that is precisely why I increasingly notice that this does not seem to be the case for many others.
2. Many People Broadcast - But Few Receive
Time and again, I find myself in long conversations with people, whether virtually or in person. And not infrequently, I realize afterwards that I was not asked a single question.
Of course, this does not apply to close friends or family. But outside that circle, I encounter it surprisingly often. People talk about their jobs, their projects, their experiences, and their opinions. That is perfectly legitimate, and I find it interesting.
What would be even more interesting, however, is if the conversation did not flow entirely in one direction.
Sometimes I get the impression that many people primarily want to broadcast, while the ability to receive is becoming increasingly rare.
3. Attention Is Increasingly Focused on Ourselves
The philosopher Richard David Precht attributes this development, among other things, to what he calls cultural capitalism.
By this, he means the observation that we increasingly view ourselves as individual projects. We want to grow, realize our potential, and optimize ourselves. Everyone wants to become the best version of themselves. And quite a few people then try to market the resulting masterpiece as if it were a product.
Social media reinforces this dynamic. Visibility is rewarded. Attention becomes a form of currency. Everyone has the opportunity to publicly present their thoughts, opinions, and achievements.
Yet only a small minority receives significant attention on platforms such as Instagram or TikTok. For everyone else, the desire to be seen and heard often grows even stronger. As a result, the interest in truly understanding other people can easily fade into the background.
4. Listening Is Becoming More Important at Work
This is particularly evident in leadership roles.
Recently, I received some interesting feedback from a client after an interview process. Although the candidate was highly convincing from a professional perspective, the company felt he was not the right cultural fit.
I asked why.
The explanation was simple: when invited to introduce himself, he delivered a monologue that lasted almost twenty minutes.
“This doesn't fit our culture,” they told me. “We are looking for leaders who are empathetic, who listen carefully, and who involve others.”
In an increasingly complex world of work, listening is becoming more important, not less. Anyone who wants to lead must first understand. And understanding almost always begins with questions.
5. Why Questions Are Often More Valuable Than Answers
Perhaps that is why asking questions and listening have become a kind of modern superpower.
People who ask good questions learn faster. People who listen understand others more deeply. People who are genuinely interested in others build stronger relationships - professionally as well as personally.
And often, the most interesting things emerge precisely when we spend less time talking ourselves.
6. My Impuls
In conversations, are you mostly transmitting or mostly receiving?
When was the last time you had a conversation driven by genuine curiosity?
Do you listen in order to respond or in order to truly understand the other person?
Perhaps asking questions and listening are not soft skills after all. Perhaps, in an age of constant self-presentation, they are more important than ever.
